Sunday, February 21, 2010
Words of the Wise-The OU Survival Guide
As OU students, we have a certain understanding of "Do's", "Dont's", and anything in between when it comes to survival on our campus. Here is your chance to share your knowledge with visiting friends, incoming students, naive freshmen, or even parents!!! (we all know how crazy Moms' Weekend gets) Your advice can be as simple as "go to class and you will pass" or "don't stumble onto the sidewalk with a beer in your hand"----Tell us what you have done to survive here!!!!!
STORY OF THE WEEK!
Yaw ready for this!?
Here it goes...
One sunny summer day, I get a call from an employer to help assist in a photo shoot with a young lady who was posing semi-nude. I later found out that this lady is a stripper, but that's not the point. I get to the studio to find my friend, the owner, in progress of shooting the model. They ask me to strip down and join in on the shoot. So, what the fuck, of course I did.
Now, I dont know how many of you guys out there have had the opportunity to share an erotic photo session with a stripper before, but it's pretty fucking hard to keep it down.
So about 2 minutes into the shoot, we get into a pose wherein I had to lay on my back with the model straddling me with her beautiful angels hovering over my devilish grin. Yes, my friends, I was in heaven. But of course, I had a raging, well...you know. Jokes were made, but only the kind that made me feel like a king.
So, after the shoot, I ended up getting this lady's number and called her later that same night. She picked me up from my house, took me back to her's, and just before we pulled onto her street, she informed me that she had 2 sons, neither of whom's fathers stuck around. A trigger in my head should have pulled to alert me that the race has begun and I should start running, but for some reason, probably my devotion to new sexual experiences and the fact that she drove me and I was in know way walking distance from my house, I decided to stick around.
So, after dicking around for a bit, I started to dick around. Things were going exactly as I pictured they would in my head when I first walked into the studio and saw her glorious ass staring at me from underneath her laced, see-through, half-covering mini skirt. All of a sudden, I hear a cry from the room next door. This is when things went from memorable to epic.
The cry was from her 2-year-old son, the younger of the two. Caring for her young, like any good mother would do, she yelled and to tell him to stop crying. And he did. So I went about my business. A few seconds later I hear tiny footsteps entering the room from behind me. I turn my head to see her little one rubbing his eyes and coming strait for the bed. Imagine a dear in headlights. Now imagine said dear mounted on top of another dear.
The lady asked her son what he was doing. He promptly told her that he was sleeping with her as he climbed into the bed and cuddled up to a pillow. At this point, I'm strongly thinking about gearing up to pull out and call it a failed mission. But before I did, she reaches underneath herself, pulls out the comforter, and gives it to me to pull over top of us, leaving her son on top of it. (Don't worry, he had his own wittle blankey) With that action, I continued playing the roll of that kid's father minus the whole father part.
I rocked that little boy to sleep that night. And to make matters even more epic, I rocked him awake the next morning too.
This comment was posted by an anonymous reader on February 17, 2010
Here it goes...
One sunny summer day, I get a call from an employer to help assist in a photo shoot with a young lady who was posing semi-nude. I later found out that this lady is a stripper, but that's not the point. I get to the studio to find my friend, the owner, in progress of shooting the model. They ask me to strip down and join in on the shoot. So, what the fuck, of course I did.
Now, I dont know how many of you guys out there have had the opportunity to share an erotic photo session with a stripper before, but it's pretty fucking hard to keep it down.
So about 2 minutes into the shoot, we get into a pose wherein I had to lay on my back with the model straddling me with her beautiful angels hovering over my devilish grin. Yes, my friends, I was in heaven. But of course, I had a raging, well...you know. Jokes were made, but only the kind that made me feel like a king.
So, after the shoot, I ended up getting this lady's number and called her later that same night. She picked me up from my house, took me back to her's, and just before we pulled onto her street, she informed me that she had 2 sons, neither of whom's fathers stuck around. A trigger in my head should have pulled to alert me that the race has begun and I should start running, but for some reason, probably my devotion to new sexual experiences and the fact that she drove me and I was in know way walking distance from my house, I decided to stick around.
So, after dicking around for a bit, I started to dick around. Things were going exactly as I pictured they would in my head when I first walked into the studio and saw her glorious ass staring at me from underneath her laced, see-through, half-covering mini skirt. All of a sudden, I hear a cry from the room next door. This is when things went from memorable to epic.
The cry was from her 2-year-old son, the younger of the two. Caring for her young, like any good mother would do, she yelled and to tell him to stop crying. And he did. So I went about my business. A few seconds later I hear tiny footsteps entering the room from behind me. I turn my head to see her little one rubbing his eyes and coming strait for the bed. Imagine a dear in headlights. Now imagine said dear mounted on top of another dear.
The lady asked her son what he was doing. He promptly told her that he was sleeping with her as he climbed into the bed and cuddled up to a pillow. At this point, I'm strongly thinking about gearing up to pull out and call it a failed mission. But before I did, she reaches underneath herself, pulls out the comforter, and gives it to me to pull over top of us, leaving her son on top of it. (Don't worry, he had his own wittle blankey) With that action, I continued playing the roll of that kid's father minus the whole father part.
I rocked that little boy to sleep that night. And to make matters even more epic, I rocked him awake the next morning too.
This comment was posted by an anonymous reader on February 17, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
STORY OF THE WEEK!
One night I went uptown with my friend and my phone was dead so I left it at her place. The bars were very busy so we ended up getting lost from eachother and I was talking to these guys. Mind you I have no phone and I have no idea where my friend is so the guys who I am talking to invite me and some random girls back to palmer street to smoke a blunt. Of course you all know they were expecting to get some ass from some random girls at the bar. We smoke and take some pictures, which are later deleted, and then ride in his car to BP and back. I am in the back seat asking them to take me back to my firends and they say NO and we go back to their house on Palmer St, I am pissed at this point and decide whatever dude trys he is not getting any! I know that my friend is probably worried about me cuz it is now 4AM and she can not call me and I do not know her number. Dude takes me to his room and keeps tryna take my pants off. He is very cute but I'm not gonna be some random hookup so I tell him I gotta go to the bathroom and then just dip. As I am walking back at 4AM all alone from Palmer St to my friends who lives past the Ridges I get stopped by this guy in a truck who asks if I would like a ride. I hesitate to say yes but I have justed walked across town and now I am by the convo carrying my shoes. I decide he seems nice and won't rape or kill me so I get in and he takes me back to my friends. She is awake so I tell her my story and we both laugh becuase dude on Palmer is probably wondering where the hell his random hookup for the night went.
-Anonymously Posted on February 17, 2010
-Anonymously Posted on February 17, 2010
Dear Ms. Purcell
The creators of What'd yOU Expect? would like to announce a special thank you to The Post, not only for the publicity, but for bringing to our attention a letter of concern from a fellow reader of our blog. This letter brought amazing comic relief and we would like to address Ms. Purcell directly to clear a few things up.
Ms. Purcell, please allow me to educate you about our site and how it works, since there's clearly some discrepancy. You are correct that this blog is "under-edited," but that would simply be because these posts are written BY readers. I know it may be hard for you to understand, but when our readers are goofing off on our site, they enjoy typing with the AP style handcuffs off. It's a bit more comfortable and informal. The creators do not go back and edit comments because it's the reader's story to tell however they'd like. With that said, the comments on our site DO NOT reflect the beliefs of the creators. The creators encourage the freedom of speech to all readers, regardless of sex, content of their story, etc. To edit, eliminate or discourage comments is an act of censorship, which is exactly what our site rejects. While we understand your concern, we would like to say that you, along with everyone reading this message, chose to go through a site content warning, come to this site, read the content and then participate in the gossip of the site. Therefore, thank you once again for visiting What'd yOU Expect? and we look forward to your future participation on our site.
Sincerely,
What'd yOU Expect?
P.S. To those who commented on the letter Ms. Purcell wrote, this Web site DID NOT make Ohio University a top-ranked party school on The Princeton Review. Ohio University gained that reputation years ago because of the fests, the epic Halloween block party and the 20 bars in walking distance from campus. The stigma is not going anywhere and if you were worried about that reflecting onto your future job applications, then you should have thought about that before you paid that huge wad of cash to our poorly budgeted school. The creators are providing an outlet for students to discuss their experiences WITHOUT censorship to bring to light the candid experiences of OU students. This is a site run by the readers and for the readers. If what you're seeing posted isn't how you view OU, then write your own candid stories to show the other side. We're welcoming anyone to show OU's true colors.
Ms. Purcell, please allow me to educate you about our site and how it works, since there's clearly some discrepancy. You are correct that this blog is "under-edited," but that would simply be because these posts are written BY readers. I know it may be hard for you to understand, but when our readers are goofing off on our site, they enjoy typing with the AP style handcuffs off. It's a bit more comfortable and informal. The creators do not go back and edit comments because it's the reader's story to tell however they'd like. With that said, the comments on our site DO NOT reflect the beliefs of the creators. The creators encourage the freedom of speech to all readers, regardless of sex, content of their story, etc. To edit, eliminate or discourage comments is an act of censorship, which is exactly what our site rejects. While we understand your concern, we would like to say that you, along with everyone reading this message, chose to go through a site content warning, come to this site, read the content and then participate in the gossip of the site. Therefore, thank you once again for visiting What'd yOU Expect? and we look forward to your future participation on our site.
Sincerely,
What'd yOU Expect?
P.S. To those who commented on the letter Ms. Purcell wrote, this Web site DID NOT make Ohio University a top-ranked party school on The Princeton Review. Ohio University gained that reputation years ago because of the fests, the epic Halloween block party and the 20 bars in walking distance from campus. The stigma is not going anywhere and if you were worried about that reflecting onto your future job applications, then you should have thought about that before you paid that huge wad of cash to our poorly budgeted school. The creators are providing an outlet for students to discuss their experiences WITHOUT censorship to bring to light the candid experiences of OU students. This is a site run by the readers and for the readers. If what you're seeing posted isn't how you view OU, then write your own candid stories to show the other side. We're welcoming anyone to show OU's true colors.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Epic 3-Some
For those of yOU who have been so fortunate, tell us about the most amazing 3-Some yOU've had the privilege of participating in. Here's your chance to brag!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
STORY OF THE WEEK!
This is a true story that has not ever before been told in its entirety. I was a freshman here at OU and wanted to take advantage of what every freshman boy wants to take advantage of their first semester of college... party sluts. I have this theory that freshmen girls are ready to fuck anything that walks their first semester of college because they are new to the environment and have the idea that it is okay to sleep around because everyone does it(not actually the case but it worked out well for me my first year). New to the college environment myself, I raised hell my first couple of weeks on campus. Getting shitfaced every night, fucking all kinds of girls, basically doing everything you are supposed to do during your college years. I was loving life for a good amount of time until one particular night when I met this grizzly bear of a girl.
Just as all of these stories start out, I was shit-housed drunk and throwing all standards of judgment to the wind. It actually looked like I was going to be heading back to my dorm alone but a good friend of mine who had been persistently hitting on some random girl drug me along as a wing man. Eventually My friend, myself, and a group of girls went back to their dorm. My good friend got shutout at the last minute by this tease of a girl he was with. (What a bitch right?) So just as I am ready to head home with my depressed and sexually frustrated friend, the fore mentioned grizzly bear grabbed me and pulled me into the dorm. Alright, I know if I had any kind of decency I would have left immediately and walked home with my friend, but fuck it right? I was drunk and gonna get laid, how can anyone be expected to turn that down? So I went in. I went into this "grizzly bear's" quad and fucked her in front of all three of her either sleeping or pretending to be sleeping roommates. For reasons you can imagine the rest of the night is forgettable. It probably ended with me passed out, sweaty, and naked. Same for the grizzly bear. I woke up, still naked, being smothered by the bear. I think she was dreaming that I was the last cupcake on earth and she was guarding me from a pack of starving Africans.I literally felt like a small child, being spooned by a giant, wrapped in her tree trunk arms. It was early and no one seemed to be awake except for me. I had to get my clothes and escape. My life depended on it otherwise I was sure I would be eaten by this monster whose' bed I was sleeping in.I mustered up the courage and adrenaline to bench press this girl's arm off of my chest, by far the most weight I have ever lifted. I was shaking, just having completed a new world record in power lifting, and struggling to find and put on my clothes in the dark. Success! Right as I am finally dressed, still pulling up my pants, I reach for the door. I think to myself, I am in the clear. Then as I pull the door open I hear, "Where are you going?" OH SHIT. The bear is awake. I don't know what to say or do, so I just bolt. I run faster than I ever have all the way until I get back to my room across campus. I have learned my lesson. I will never pull wing man duty when there is a girl over 250lbs in the group. -Anonymous
Just as all of these stories start out, I was shit-housed drunk and throwing all standards of judgment to the wind. It actually looked like I was going to be heading back to my dorm alone but a good friend of mine who had been persistently hitting on some random girl drug me along as a wing man. Eventually My friend, myself, and a group of girls went back to their dorm. My good friend got shutout at the last minute by this tease of a girl he was with. (What a bitch right?) So just as I am ready to head home with my depressed and sexually frustrated friend, the fore mentioned grizzly bear grabbed me and pulled me into the dorm. Alright, I know if I had any kind of decency I would have left immediately and walked home with my friend, but fuck it right? I was drunk and gonna get laid, how can anyone be expected to turn that down? So I went in. I went into this "grizzly bear's" quad and fucked her in front of all three of her either sleeping or pretending to be sleeping roommates. For reasons you can imagine the rest of the night is forgettable. It probably ended with me passed out, sweaty, and naked. Same for the grizzly bear. I woke up, still naked, being smothered by the bear. I think she was dreaming that I was the last cupcake on earth and she was guarding me from a pack of starving Africans.I literally felt like a small child, being spooned by a giant, wrapped in her tree trunk arms. It was early and no one seemed to be awake except for me. I had to get my clothes and escape. My life depended on it otherwise I was sure I would be eaten by this monster whose' bed I was sleeping in.I mustered up the courage and adrenaline to bench press this girl's arm off of my chest, by far the most weight I have ever lifted. I was shaking, just having completed a new world record in power lifting, and struggling to find and put on my clothes in the dark. Success! Right as I am finally dressed, still pulling up my pants, I reach for the door. I think to myself, I am in the clear. Then as I pull the door open I hear, "Where are you going?" OH SHIT. The bear is awake. I don't know what to say or do, so I just bolt. I run faster than I ever have all the way until I get back to my room across campus. I have learned my lesson. I will never pull wing man duty when there is a girl over 250lbs in the group. -Anonymous
Monday, January 25, 2010
Creep-tastic Encounters
Comment on the biggest creeper you've met on OU campus. How'd you run into them and how'd you get them to go away?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Tales of Drunken Friends
Everyone has been stuck being the sober babysitter for a wasted friend at least once in their lives. Tell us about a time a really shit-faced friend did/tired to do something obnoxious and you had to save their dumb ass/clean up the mess they made. (metaphorically or literally)
The Roommate Burn Book
Here is your chance to vent about the worst roommates and roommate situations ever. Everyone has a story about a roommate. Tell us all about it.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Most Embarrassing
What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you at OU? We want the uncensored, gory details!
The Miracle
Describe a night where you consumed so much alcohol you probably should have died and you're not sure how you didn't
The Lie
What outrageously bogus thing did you ever have to do or say to get an extension on an important assignment at OU?
Coyote Ugly
What's the worst morning you've ever woken up next to someone at OU? How'd you end up there and how'd you escape?!
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